by Dana Hi, my name is Dana Marie Roark and I’m a female neurodivergent adult on the flip side of
50+ years. I’m very glad I grew up in the decades and times I did, prior to the
overmedicalization and mislabeling of emotions and people. It’s unfortunate that as an
adult, I experienced horrific abuse, exploitation, deliberate mislabeling, intentional
mistreatment and trafficking at the hands of both a domestic abuser as well as the current
corrupt corporate profiteering “health” system. While it is currently a very broken system,
especially the abusive fraudulence of the “behavioral health” aspect, I’m here with some
good news. I escaped from all that and am continuing to heal from my nerve damage and
naturally, holistically and homeopathically treat my Lupus and heart issues as well as the
traumatic brain injury cruelly inflicted on me against my will and wishes via unwanted
electrocution aka ECT. I have been taking extensive notes on my own healing process and
how to comfortably function within my own neurodivergence and want to apply that to a
larger framework that gives spaces and provides non-medicalized, non-coercive
treatment options that recognize, respect and support each individual at every age and
stage of development, led and guided by those of us with lived experience who have
experienced and continue to achieve success in our own parameters.
It’s important that listening to oneself and relying upon one’s own intuition and
conscience is fostered, for children and adults, neurodivergent and neurotypical. Each
person is a sovereign being, a unique Soul having a human experience and we should each
be recognized, respected and treated as such. It’s necessary to help children, indeed
people of all ages, to listen to and properly respect and express themselves, be fully aware
of and properly express, not repress, their full range of emotions. It’s necessary to teach
people to unplug, be quiet, go within and find center, inner peace and calm on a regular,
daily basis and use that as the guidepost for the day. It’s so much easier to get a good
gauge on where you are emotionally and then interact with others when you can have that
basis for action and interaction, a calm center within that no one else can touch. A
permanent safe space within that comes with you wherever you go and can be a huge help
when dealing with sensory overload and the overwhelm that comes with it. We who are
autistic feel that deeply and I know from experience just how much additional energy and
functionality it takes to simply be able to filter that out to be functional in surroundings that
aren’t my own. I suspect this also negatively affects even neurotypical people in a far too
fast paced, overstimulating, loud and chaotic World. That recognition and finding ways to
cope with it and regain some locus of control can be helpful to everyone.
I don’t consider my autism and synesthesia a “disability”. In fact, I consider them gifts
when I’m allowed to be functional within my own parameters. I love the way I can
experience music, comedy and art so fully and completely, enjoy them so immensely when
they are on my wavelength and I feel fully at ease to do so. I’m only sorry that for far too
long, I both felt the need and by having to work a “regular” job, to dull myself down and
painfully cut off parts of myself in a pathetic attempt to “fit in” and “normalize”. I was still
able to perform, but it came at an extraordinarily high cost to me and I don’t want anyone
else to have to experience that kind of disrespect, from broken systems or, in fact, from
themselves, that self blame and criticism from not “fitting in” with a crass, shallow, crude,
egotistical, misogynistic, hypercompetitive and cutthroat culture. I know how much more
my own nervous system regulated and health across the board improved when I was able
to be true to my own conscience and consciousness, not have to even slightly compromise
myself or values in order to “fit in” or try to continue to meet certain corporate
expectations.
Respect and inclusion NOT coercion and exclusion is the way to truly nurture, support
and heal people, truly bring out the best in all of us by allowing us to be our natural selves
with all our differences and unique gifts and talents. When we build and nurture natural
communities and systems based on true connections, genuine caring and the authentic
desire to share our gifts, abilities and strengths, these are the foundations that allow for
each of us to be and do our very best and help and support one another, build strong bonds
and communities that are sustainable and self-reliant.
Taking the lessons learned by those of us who are up there in years and by listening to,
respecting and responding to the younger generation is how we can find healthy balance in
what was positive about our experiences and how the foundations of positive
socializations and relationship building can be used in today’s society. There is a need for
slowing down, teaching the value of being far less harsh, critical, cruel and conformist and
replacing those behaviors with being positive, proactive, gentle, understanding, valuing
health, boundaries, respect, inclusivity, kindness and caring all around. There is much
importance in teaching emotional regulation and awareness, nervous system regulation
and awareness and how to recognize, respect and handle disruption in a healthy way. How
to attain and maintain health and inner peace naturally and not exogenically as well as the
importance of listening to conscience and being Spiritual, having good morals and gentle
kindness. Realizing we are all interconnected and we all affect one another, how to make
that a positive and Loving connection that is to everyone’s benefit so that we all might be a
blessing for one another, help each other and be a blessing to the World around us,
contribute in positive ways no matter our differences.